Before I start this blog post I would like to say I'm back. This blog was originally for a class and really only posted topics that were preset in nature by my professor. I have decided to fully devote myself to posting regularly from here on. I feel God wants me to keep up with regular posts about many facets of my life. This is a way to communicate with others and most importantly to learn from one another. Your comments are appreciated and would love to connect through this - not just Facebook.
I got dumped just days ago. I don't like using the word dumped as it sounds "highschoolish" but there isn't any other way to say it. I can't tell you how terrible it is. It's one of those feelings you really only know if you've experienced it. We were together for about a year and I thought things were going really well. But they weren't from her end. It's like taking a hot shower and all of a sudden bone chilling H20 gets shot out for no reason at all for just a few seconds. Definitely blindsides ya. The reason why? I'm not really sure. Did she lose feelings for me? Was I too much of a Jesus freak? Was/Is there another guy that she has started to have feelings for? Is she just not wanting to be in a relationship? Was I too conservative? Honestly, I don't know and it just isn't very clear. It never will be and it flat out doesn't matter.
More than anything in this world I want wisdom from God. This experience is a great example of attaining wisdom and reminding me of what is important. In everything I do I must do in the delight and glorify God (Colossians 3:23). I wasn't living like that. There were parts of the relationship that were just flat out wrong and dishonoring to God and I need to repent from that. We are sinners, we make mistakes, and we must repent. Simple, yet hard. I also need to remind myself of being yolked with someone that has the same beliefs, values, and passions.
As I was driving home from work tonight (Valentines Day - haha) Matt Redman's version of "Blessed be the name" played. The line "He gives and takes away" hit me so very hard. It is so true and was a strong reminder of who is in control and who to fully trust (Proverbs 3:5). Lastly my little brother said the following tonight while I was really struggling, "Ben you need to understand that while this hurts now, God completely knows what He is doing. You will find someone you will grow spiritually with and it is going to be so awesome. Just be patient and let God work."
Amen. God is good.
